Saturday, July 24, 2010

Behind that Shiny Resume by Jasmine Yow

Living a life as an overachiever student is very complicated.
Your parents and teachers push you to the limit and unaware of your own passion and feeling.

Depression is very common among youth, and loneliness make the situation worst. Weight changes, sleep disturbance and deep fatigue are the symptoms of depression.

Whenever I think of my experience during A Level and my 2 years uni life in Bath, I can't quite describe all those feeling and honestly I can't remember most of my feeling for the duration of these 4 years of my life. Whenever I close my eyes and try recall the memories , all I can remember is loneliness and hunger. Luckily, I have a blog that remind me of details I forgot.

Failing my papers during my second year in Bath is the peak of my depression period. I can't even read the examinations paper and I had almost a blank paper answer paper to submit. I even fail on paper that I studied and understand well because of the anxiety. Of course I am very sorry for my parents when they have to answer these questions: why is Sing Sing is not in the UK? Why is she so fat?

I am a cliche because I can excel only in my comfort zone, where less is expected from me and clearly I am a little bit above average. It doesn't really matter, because I am happy and healthy and I found my way out of depression.

Thank god for the second opportunity and I will make my parents proud of me again one day.


cIK nuRr said...

thumbs up.....thats my sing sing.....

bobo said...

your parents always love you, no matter what!! it doesn't matter that you failed some exams in UK because that's not the words that come out of daddy's mouth..instead, all the time he's saying you've studied there and now continuing in KK...and he says it very proudly of you, to different guests, over and over again..i've heard it many times. So, I think he's proud of you either way. Going to UK alone and handling a job is already a big step and an accomplishment in itself. And to be there for 4 years! Dear have not failed and your parents love everything about you, especially knowing that you are HAPPY (that is every parent's wish for their children!)

bobo said...

ok, i've tried to post a comment two times already and it always messes let's see if i can try and say it again:

your parents are already proud of you and they love you the way you are (...'just the way you are...!"). I know that's what we're "supposed" to say, but I do know it's true. Your dad never talks about you failing exams and returning to continue here, rather he goes on bragging about you having studied in UK, and working in a restaurant and continuing to be teacher now in KK...he says the same thing over and over, to a different guest, different day! I've heard it many times before. So although you may have failed an exam, the whole experience of going to UK was an accomplishment in itself. Going alone, to a new foreign country AND working...that's huge. You learned a lot of things outside of school through experience and that's really what makes any parent proud.

You don't have to earn parents' love or approval, as I've heard your dad say - " long as my children are happy!" There's nothing you can do to make them love you more or less :) Please remember that!

ann said...

Thanks Shannon.
I never heard my dad talked about me again since i am back from the UK.

reading your comment makes me cry.
I can't thank you enough.