Dear Angel of Death,

I don't have your phone number, your address and your email adress. I'm not even your friend in facebook but one thing for sure, I do know you are reading this blog.

You ask for my forgiveness when you haven't done anything wrong to me. What we had in the past might be painful, but it is very special for me. It was not always painful, don't get me wrong. There were lots of happy moments, in fact the happiest moment in my life was all those time I spent with you.

It might be short but I am the real me when I am with you. I don't have to pretend that I am strong and independent. You get my joke and we always had nice conversations; manga, football, csi and silly 8-bit PC games. You make me feel beautiful and you believe in my potential.

You told me your dream is me. You lifted my spirit up just by typing those words but I am sorry. I am sorry for being a little bit mature, I am not a silly little girl you met 10 years ago. I need assurance and I need proof.

Few letters, emails or sms in a year is not enough. I need something concrete and I need something real. I may be a cliche, but I do need a normal love. I need a person that I can tell how was my day everyday, a real person that I can see and touch and hug. A person who always lend his shoulder for me to cry.

Please, think hard and think wisely. Don't give me false hope and I need to protect my own heart. Please come back into my life when you can afford all the commitments I demand. I miss you every day and I never stop loving you.

ZEQ